Full disclosure: I am not a slash fan, and I only tried this story because I was curious about your a/u version of religion.
Your writing is really solid and I like your characters a lot. Even for a/u, J&J are recognizably themselves and I like that they're both good people. I also really appreciate that while you used some familiar faces in the supporting roles, you changed the guys' families. And I think you had a good balance between Jared being younger but more open, and Jensen being older but less experienced. And a happy ending! Gah, too many depressing ones out there.
I was a lot more disheartened with the prejudice in the story, and not just what the guys face. The digs at Fox news, at the thinly veiled Christian religion with it's single, "mean" God and rules and sexual piety: I honestly think this detracted objectively from your story. I hope you know that not all who disagree with "magic" are hateful bigots, but it would have been nice to have some examples in the story--even Jensen's parents--who feel what they do strongly but not at the expense of dehumanizing those they disagree with or being nasty or narrow-minded or brainwashed. Instead of setting up a realistic dialog or contrast here of two sides with valid viewpoints (and, yes, some fringe members), instead it's b&w Good v. Evil. Which is kinda ironic, given that the religious side is the one with the b&w, intolerant moral code.
I honestly don't intend this as an attack, just wanted to put out there the possibility that the story could have been better with a little balance, and that tolerance means tolerating even those who are not in agreement with you...and many, many of those folks aren't haters.
Thank you for the hard work (a lot longer than I can produce in a fic myself!) and an otherwise enjoyable story. KHK
reservations
Your writing is really solid and I like your characters a lot. Even for a/u, J&J are recognizably themselves and I like that they're both good people. I also really appreciate that while you used some familiar faces in the supporting roles, you changed the guys' families. And I think you had a good balance between Jared being younger but more open, and Jensen being older but less experienced. And a happy ending! Gah, too many depressing ones out there.
I was a lot more disheartened with the prejudice in the story, and not just what the guys face. The digs at Fox news, at the thinly veiled Christian religion with it's single, "mean" God and rules and sexual piety: I honestly think this detracted objectively from your story. I hope you know that not all who disagree with "magic" are hateful bigots, but it would have been nice to have some examples in the story--even Jensen's parents--who feel what they do strongly but not at the expense of dehumanizing those they disagree with or being nasty or narrow-minded or brainwashed. Instead of setting up a realistic dialog or contrast here of two sides with valid viewpoints (and, yes, some fringe members), instead it's b&w Good v. Evil. Which is kinda ironic, given that the religious side is the one with the b&w, intolerant moral code.
I honestly don't intend this as an attack, just wanted to put out there the possibility that the story could have been better with a little balance, and that tolerance means tolerating even those who are not in agreement with you...and many, many of those folks aren't haters.
Thank you for the hard work (a lot longer than I can produce in a fic myself!) and an otherwise enjoyable story.
KHK